Abhimanyu Girotra | Onloose Pilferage Inc.
New Delhi: The Delhi government on Friday cancelled the permits of 600 Blueline buses, often dubbed 'killer buses'. It has been estimated that it has ferried more passengers beneath its wheels than over its wheels.
"It has been decided to immediately cancel the permits of 600 Blueline buses due to violation of permit rules, including non-operation. We are committed to phase out Blueline buses in the near future," Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit said.
Captain G R Gopinath of the Air Deccan fame who was stranded at the Airport due to Air Deccan Flight Cancellation hurriedly called the Press Conference to announce its new acquisition. “We are a low Cost airline; we will do anything to reduce the operational Cost. We have decided to recruit all the Laid off Blue Line Bus drivers as our New Pilots”, said The Amused Captain; Tired of the Deccan delay, boarded the Kingfisher Airline.
Air Deccan is Pretty Similar in operation to Blue Line buses, there will not be much Cultural Shock for the Drivers joining Air Deccan. The Blue Line drivers have the innate ability to overlook the Bus Stops and this is in rhythm with Air Deccan’s Policy to reduce the Ground Time at the airport of our Planes.
They will contribute to the efficiency of the airline currently hovering at .98765%, Blushed Captain GR Gopinath.
We had this long desire of starting Non Stop flights, I am sure the new Pilots bring with them a rich experience of not stopping at all for passengers.
It’s pretty easy up there. The Blue Line Drivers would not require any special aviation Training. Talking to the Air Traffic Control would be much more easier for these people since they have the natural experience of simultaneously Talking on the Mobile Phones, listening to radio, honking horns when not required, playing cards, reading newspaper and abusing passengers while driving in high stress environment on Delhi streets.
“It’s a win win situation for Air Deccan”, Answered Gopinath to visibly upset Citizen Journalist Varun Sadana, who once lost his Job and other time his Girlfriend when he could not reach on time via Air Deccan.
The Co-pilots would also be from Blue Line buses only, said GR.
Blue Line bus drivers have this unwritten rule that they will stop midway to help the fella driver repair his bus, Shift all passengers from his friends bus to his own overloaded bus.
We need this kind of mutual understanding between our pilots due to frequent Mid Air cancellations. Also our fleet is either second hand or flying by God’s grace, this experience would help Air Deccan.
Answering to the question raised by Citizen Journalist Varun Sadana on the jobs for the laid off bus Conductors, Nikhil Taneja, the spokesperson for Air Deccan said, “ That’s going to be easy, We are even more Generous than Blue Line Buses, the minimum fair on Blue Line bus is Rs 4/- . We offer tickets at Rs 1/-. We are soon planning to introduce Conductors on our Boeing planes to issue current tickets. We will soon get rid of the ground staff this way. Remember, we are a lost cost airline.”
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The Air Deccan’s Vision is unique, “We are highly customer disoriented, Not Reaching on Time, Not letting others reach on time, Mid air cancellations, Misplaced bookings, lost luggage has been the vision of Air Deccan and so that of Blue Line Buses. I am sure the collaboration will phase out Air Deccan just like Blue Line from Delhi streets.” said GR, who was by this time completely stressed out as he was deplaned from the Kingfisher Airline on charges of eve-teasing an Air-Hostess.
